After freaking out all day about not getting to talk to Bobby, I came home and worked on Government homework and tried to take a nap.. During my nap, my phone starts playing a song that only plays when Bobby text or calls me.. I sat straight up and answered (duh!).. Everything that I have been worrying about melted away as soon as I heard his voice.. Something about that two minute phone call made my day.. After crying the whole way to school, tearing up when I was talking to Sutusky about it, and tearing up when I told Mrs. Gibson about it too.. I felt kinda dumb for letting it get to me the way it did, but isn't that what a girl friend is supposed to do when she can't talk to her boyfriend.. You're probably thinking, "Man, this kid is in way over her head with her relationship" but that's what y'all don't understand.. I know what love is..
>>So here is the story..<<
I was with the same guy, off and on, for about 4 years.. In the last year of mine and his relationship, his mom died, then his grandma died, then I found out he had been cheating on me since we had got back together (First semester of last school year).. His mom (before she died) told me that he was seeing another girl because she saw her come over a couple times before.. I didn't believe her.. His dad and brother said the same thing.. I started to believe them but never would say anything.. That is until I saw it for myself at his mom's funeral.. The other girl, Jerrica, was there, giving me the nasty looks like "What are you doing here?" But like any girl in love would do, I forgave him and told him that it wasn't a big deal.. When his grandma died, I went to the funeral, I sat with the family.. Jerrica wasn't there at first (in the church part).. When we got to the cemetery, I was standing behind the family and happen to look around at all the people that I knew and guess who I spotted.. Jerrica.. I didn't think anything about it.. When he didn't speak to me after the funeral, I walked to my truck, got in and sat there, waiting on him and his dad so I could speak.. But no, when he walked up, so did she.. I was like what the heck... When she got in his car, I was like "Oh H no.." and sped off like a bat out of you know where.. I was upset.. Who wouldn't be.. After you gave that one special boy, who you have known since first grade, and who you gave chance after chance to.. I didn't cry at first.. I called him and told him off.. My words were something like, "I hate you. I never want to talk to or see you again. Go be with that whore who has screwed God knows who at AJ. When you call me a 1am because you need to talk to someone, I'm gonna ignore it like you ignored me at the cemetery, after I stood by you and your family through the two deaths. You lost a good one Josh, and I don't think you will ever get the chance to make it up to her. Bye" And that was that.. Until he has English with me third block, second semester, Junior Year with Duke Keen. And now he has second block English with me.. I loved Josh.. He cheated and I started to hate him, but I NEVER will be able to not love him (if that makes sense)..
So as you see, I know what love is and I know how bad that crap hurts.. Trust me.. I've been there bought the t-shirt and then burned it.. I know it sounds crazy, but I think that I may have stepped into another relationship of that dreadful L-word. When I talk to Bobby, I get 5,987,244,534,195,249 butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I can't breath and my body goes numb. He means a lot to me.. Not talking to him is like asking the sun to not shine in July, impossible to do.. I think about him 24/7.. All day, every day.. Just like how it USED to be with me and Josh.. I have such strong feeling for Bobby and it seems like no one believes that a high school Senior who is about to be 18 is in love with yet another guy.. But who needs to believe me.. I know the truth.. and in the long run, that's all that matters..
I love Bobby and what you think is the least of my worries..
Thanks for reading..
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